I will be honest. Given the state of the world, it felt a little self-indulgent to spend a week away in silence and the beauty of God’s creation this year. And yet I leave renewed and strengthened by God’s love, grateful for the wisdom of tradition and my community’s expectation that each sister take an annual retreat (it’s in our Constitutions!).

Mother Evangelista, one of the first sisters to profess vows in the community in 1884, taught this to her novices:

“Retreat – What is it? A Spiritual Holiday with our Lord. … God comes to us now with His hands spread out over us, and filled with every kind of grace and gift. Are these gifts for me Lord? Is it I?“

I can relate. This year, I returned to Wisdom House, an interfaith retreat center in Connecticut run by the Daughters of Wisdom. When I was a novice, I made my retreat here both years. It is a sacred space filled with beauty where I have received many graces and gifts, this year being no exception.

I leave with three messages tucked into my heart from this week, wisdom for the journey.

1. Strengthen Your Weak Knees

The week before my retreat I twisted my knee. Given that one of my favorite things to do on retreat is go on long walks in the woods, this was problematic.  Thankfully I am improving and was able to take (slow) walks with the help of a knee brace.

God has a (serious) sense of humor, however. The Sunday reading as I began retreat was from Hebrews 12:

For what “son” is there whom his father does not discipline? At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain, yet later it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it.

So strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees. Make straight paths for your feet, that what is lame may not be disjointed but healed (emphasis added by me).

I burst out laughing at mass as this passage was proclaimed. OK God, I get it. But just to make sure I got the message, later that same day, I was listening to new music by Sandra McCracken, who it happens released a song based on this same verse in July!

Strengthen your weak knees became a theme of sorts for this retreat. The journey is not without challenges, but I find strength in God and community (and knee braces) and stay on the path. Speaking of paths, I visited the Montfort Fathers Lourdes Shrine in Litchfield and made a prayer video set to the song.

2. Do Whatever He Tells You

I attended daily mass this week at a local parish, where on my second visit  I noticed a beautiful stained glass window of the wedding at Cana. I love the look on Mary’s face as she looks over her shoulder at Jesus. Aren’t you going to do something, her whole being says to her son. And to the servants (and to me), she says simply, “Do whatever he tells you.”

Life can be overwhelming on the best of days. Right now … well. Sigh. I have been mostly unplugged this week but have been reading (and praying with) the news. Enough said.

I also carry with me the stories of the immigrant families I have met on my visits to the Delaney Hall detention center in the face of cruel,  inhumane, and constantly changing visitation policies at the for-profit prison. Another reflection point this week that kept coming up for me (and is in the video above) was standing at the foot of the cross. My experience of accompaniment at Delaney Hall has been a true foot of the cross experience. I can feel helpless in such moments. Like Mary and the other women, I suppose.

As I prepare to return back to real life, I am encouraged by Mary to follow her son. “Do whatever he tells you. He is the way. Love is the way.” My task is simply to listen to him and act accordingly. Small acts of love add up. And as Pope Leo reminded us that first day from the balcony at St. Peter’s… “God loves all of us and evil will not prevail.”

3. Be Like Wise and Rational Fish

Bear with me here … This morning, on the feast of St Augustine, I was drawn to look at the Office of Readings for the day, which I presumed would have something from him. Sure enough, it was the “Late have I loved you” bit, which is lovely and worthy of reflection, to be sure.

But it was the daily reading from St. Columbanus (different from Columba apparently), a sixth century Irish Missionary that caught my attention. Reflecting on Living Water, he wrote:

“We are called to the source and fountain of life … From this Life comes everything: wisdom, life, eternal light. The Creator of life is the fountain from which life springs; the Creator of light is the fountain of light. So let us leave this world of visible things. Let us leave this world of time and head for the heavens. Like fish seeking water, like wise and rational fish let us seek the fountain of light, the fountain of life, the fountain of living water.“

His words came back to me later as I happened upon a bubbling brook on my morning walk in a nearby nature preserve. Remember, I was necessarily walking slowly thanks to my weak knees so I noticed things! I even took advantage of a conveniently placed bench to ponder this living water (and later make a video, because why not?).

God’s love is everywhere if we but have eyes to see and ears to hear (and weak knees to slow us down). God gives us living water to sustain, refresh, and renew us. May we, like wise and rational fish, remember to seek out and be light and love in the darkness amid the dry times in which we find ourselves.

Thanks for reading. I have been praying for you, yes you, during these days of retreat. May we all remember that God is good. All the time. And so are we.